I’ve been asked a few times lately to share the story of how Chris and I met; where we went on our first date (soooo typical OC) and how our relationship progressed. I was actually surprised it wasn’t something I had documented here before. Yes, I’ve touched upon it here and there and I’ve shared stories and glimpses into our early days, but it’s one story I haven’t told from start to finish. And maybe that’s the very reason why; the “finish”. I hate that our story ended so soon, too soon. So early. I hate that all that’s left of us is what resides in my mind. Well, that and our remarkable 5 year old. And while there are far too many moments, too many memories to possibly be able to share in one blog post; here it is, the story of us. The condensed version, anyway.
The early days of the summer of 1999, the summer before my senior year at UConn, I spent doing very little. I had put a call into my temp agency, the same one I used every other summer, with the hopes that a job that fit my schedule would come up. It didn’t take long, a job was available right here in Stratford. The problem was they needed me to start that day and I was home, alone, without a car. I told the guy from the temp agency I had no way of getting to or from work that day and he immediately offered to pick me up and drive me down there. I was floored. Certainly not the norm, but I was glad for the chance to earn some money and quickly took him up on his offer. An hour later I was walking into UniFirst; and while I didn’t know it then, but I was also walking towards my future.
I was told I was needed down in AR/AP/CSR and would be taking care of a lot of different tasks. I’d be dealing both with the customers, and with the drivers. I was completely outside of my comfort zone, and I knew it, but there was something familiar, something very comfortable, about that job. I immediately fell in love with all of the employees, I even went out on a couple of dates with one of the drivers, but there was a second driver who was busy trying to capture my heart; even if I was unaware of it at the time.
The first time I met Chris was late in the afternoon on my first day. He had just come back from being on the road. One of the last driver’s back (I would come to learn that this was typical for him – one of the first to leave and one of the last to return) and still he had to unload and reload his truck and cash out before he could call it a day. I remember feeling sorry for him. He looked tired. But he was still kind to me. He walked into the office I shared with Theresa, shouting “Hey, T”, he handed her all his paperwork from the day, glanced at me, gave me a huge smile and a gentle wave and turned and walked back out. That very next morning Theresa was trying to set us up.
Chris and I spent the next 4 weeks chatting in the stairwell by the loading dock. He told me he had just come back from a family wedding, which happened to fall over the weekend of his 30th birthday. I had told him that I left work for the 4th of July weekend with plans to fly to TN to visit one of best friends from high school, only to learn of my dad’s passing when I got home from work that day; my trip to TN had been postponed. We talked about the job. About our families. Our friends. He would hint that he’d like for us to go out sometime, and I’d hint that I was reluctant, but one afternoon I walked into the office and Theresa, who had become a pretty good friend, looked at me and said I’d be sorry if I didn’t go out with Chris. She said he was one of the good guys and it would be a bad move to not get to know him better. So I finally agreed. And he finally asked me out. And on July 29, 1999, we had our first date. I was a little reluctant at first, our first date consisted of meeting up at a local dive bar while he did his laundry in the laundromat next door (typical OC, or what?!), but the second I sat down on the bar stool next to him, I knew it was the right move.
We spent a lot of time talking that night. I spent a LOT of time laughing. And on our way out of the bar, standing on the sidewalk on the corner of Main St and Stratford Ave, when he pulled me into his arms and kissed me for the first time; I knew then I was in trouble. I was already falling for this guy. And I’m really honest with myself, I knew at that moment that he was my future.
We spent the rest of the summer flirting at work once he finally got back from being on the road. We continued our chats on the stairwell, we’d exchange glances while passing in the halls. Only Theresa knew we had begun casually dating and outside of work, we spent as much time together as we could. My return to school was quickly approaching and we packed as much as we could into those final weeks. Our 2nd and 3rd dates involved trips to the movies. We saw both The Sixth Sense and The Blair Witch Project (a movie he had already seen, but offered to see again with me). We spent a lot of Saturday nights hanging out in the living room of the house on King St that he shared with Jamie. We’d pick up Chinese food for dinner, we’d drink out of Ball canning jars, we’d sit on (one of three) sofa’s in the living room listening to his vast CD assortment. We had many, many Friday night dinners at Chuck’s with Jamie & Sue. We’d take trips to the mall. We’d drive out to New Haven and go to Richter’s. Or to the Village Pub. And before we knew it summer was over. I was heading back to UConn to finish out my degree and I was leaving behind the love of my life. Looking back at it now, I think that time apart made us stronger. It made us realize what we had and what we never wanted to lose. We spent our weekends driving back and forth to be together. We’d spend entire weekends locked inside that house on King Street. Cooking dinners together, sharing beers with our friends. And before we knew it, I was a college graduate and was home for good. I came home in May 2000 and by August we were moving into our first place together. That following April he left UniFirst and started his job at King Industries. A job he found because of UniFirst. The would make two life changing events that that (not so great) job at UniFirst brought to him. That summer we were moving out of our first place and moving into the home that my mom grew up in. In September 2002 we ran to an animal shelter in Long Island to rescue Kylee. In May of 2003 he finally asked me to be his wife, in a very “around the bush”/OC kind of way. That December, we brought Zoe home from the same animal shelter in Long Island. We were married 10 months later in October 2004, with our two new family members present at the church for pictures. In April 2005 we purchased the home that we had spent the last 4 years living in and started making it ours. Our home. In August 2005 we found out we were expecting our first baby. Shane was born on May 3, 2006 and together the five of us lived the picture perfect life until that fateful day in October 2008. The day that cancer, our sixth family member, would move in. And it refused to move out until it finally took with Chris it on July 16, 2009.
As long ago as 1999 sounds to me right now, the ride; our ride; was far too short. We had less than 10 years together. And while we certainly packed a lot into those years, it will never be enough. I grieve his loss every single day. I shed tears for what will never be every single day. And I’ve come to terms with the fact that those two things will never change. They are a part of me now. And while I’m thankful for the time we had together, for the things he showed and gave me during our 10 years, it can never make up for what could’ve been. What should’ve been. I will never understood why we deserved the hand we were dealt. Why I couldn’t have the minivan driving, soccer mom life I had always dreamed of. I’ll never understand why bad things happen to good people. But I’m reminded on a daily basis, especially this time of year, to be thankful for the time we did have together. I am a better person for having had those 10 years with Chris. I love that man with every fiber of my being. And I still find reasons to fall even more in love with him on daily basis. And I think that speaks volumes as to who he was; and what we had; that even now that he’s gone, I love him more and more every day.
I miss our nights on King Street. I miss running off to Bon Jovi shows; or Ranger games at the drop of a hat. I miss catching a last minute train to the city just because we could. I miss our teenage makeout sessions with Bruce playing in the background. I miss having him hold my hand while we drive. I miss packing him up for those Giants games and sitting up on the couch at night waiting for him to come home. I miss cooking with him. I miss his one-liners. His storytelling abilities. His antics that could so easily have boarded on annoying; but never did. Ever. I miss the smell of him lingering in our bedroom after a shower. I miss watching him shave. I miss tracing the heart shaped patch of hair on his back with my finger. I miss watching him with our son. With our girls. I miss the lightheartedness that his very presence brought to a room. I miss everything there is to miss about that man. But I cherish our memories. And I cherish our story. Even if it never did get the chance to turn into the novel it was always meant to be.
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