OC Stories
November 2, 2009-he was a hard worker. Dedicated. Committed. He had a good job, worked for a good company, and he knew it. It was something he never took for granted. He never complained about taking on extra shifts or covering for someone who was out. In his mind, it was overtime - which meant more money. Taking care of his family, and being someone his company could rely on, those were his top priorities. He didn’t even mind going in on the occasional Saturday.
-he liked to sleep on his side
-he was a guy’s guy
-he loved horror movies
-his favorite part of going to a movie theater was the popcorn
-he always danced like no one was watching (and had even more fun when he knew someone was)
-he watched tv with his body facing one direction and his eyes another (you’d have to see it to imagine it)
-he was a die hard NY sports fan (Giants, Rangers, Mets) and was a true fan even when it was embarrassing to be one
-he loved his music. ALL kinds of music. Oldies, reggae, alternative, hard rock, heavy metal, even broadway show tunes and kids soundtracks (Wiggles, anyone?!) - but nothing, NOTHING, could match his love for the Grateful Dead
-his favorite TV show was SuperNatural, though he would never have admitted that. If asked, he would’ve claimed BookTV or SportsCenter
-he was never a big fan of the beach, neither was I. It’s part of the reason we did Disney World for our honeymoon.
-he was right handed, but left brained.
-he was a complete gentleman on our first date, but all bets were off by our second
-his cologne of choice was HUGO - Boss. That scent can still make me weak in the knees.
-he loved the color green
-he looked awesome in red
-he hated when his hair got long, because it would get curly (I LOVED those curls)
-he took his coffee with milk and sugar, and he preferred it to be hazelnut flavored so long as it was fresh brewed that way and not flavored with syrup.
-he was never very patient when it came to hooking up electronics or putting together furniture or toys. The quicker it was done, the better. If it didn’t “hold” - he’d worry about it later.
-he knew how to live. He lived the way people are meant to live. I learned a LOT from him about life. We’ve only got one shot at this ride.
-he made fun of Starbucks and of my “fancy” coffee drinks. This guy liked things simple.
-he once told me, when we first started dating, that the scratches on the top of his car (Mighty Maroon, as he called her) were from when he and Jamie were driving to Colorado and got attacked by a mountain lion. I believed him. It wasn’t until YEARS later that I learned the scratches were actually from his chosen method of cleaning snow off the roof of his car . . . a shovel.
-he hated to shave, and never saw the point. He’d shave in the morning and would have a 5 o’clock shadow by lunch.
-he was the funniest guy I knew. Our entire relationship was filled with laughter. VERY rarely was there ever a raised voice - and if there was it was always mine.
-he graduated Southern CT State University with a BA in Communications. He always said he should’ve waited and “done” college in his 30’s - he would’ve gotten a lot more out of it and would’ve graduated with a degree to teach history.
-he was obsessed with brushing his teeth
-he was meticulous about trimming his ear and nose hairs (he’d kill me for telling you that)
-he had a heart shaped patch of hair in the center of his lower back. Oddly, I could’ve stared at it for hours - I found it that endearing!
-he LOVED to read books. History books and biographies to be specific. We have bookshelves full of them. He belonged to every (BORING) book club imaginable (The History Book Club, Military Book Club, Quality Paperback BookClub) - it was insane actually.
-he LOVED his magazines. He subscribed to all the usual suspects; NewsWeek, US News & World Report, TIME, Sports Illustrated and he even subscribed to magazines I didn’t even know existed; Civil War Times, for example.
-he LOVED snuggling on the couch on weekends - either during Shane’s nap time or after he was in bed for the night - and watching all the shows we had recorded during the week. We both preferred that to going out to bars or a party. It was our time. We cherished it.
-he HATED watching TV in bed. He could never get comfortable.
-he’d go out during snowstorms and shovel 4-5 times, so as not to have to deal with a foot (or more) of snow in one shot.
-he enjoyed mowing the lawn in the summer. He liked the sense of accomplishment and it made him feel good to know he was responsible for the yard looking nice.
-he helped me clean the house all the time and NEVER complained and he often did it without my asking
-his favorite chore was cleaning the windows
-he always took the cars in to get the oil changed and always filled them up with gas. Filling the car with gas also meant resetting the trip odometer (something I still do, because I know it would make Chris smile). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost run out of gas since Chris went into the hospital. I’ve had to leave notes reminding me to fill the tank.
-he did the laundry more than I did. Washed, dried, folded. All I ever did was put it away.
-his favorite meal was chicken piccata, but his favorite food was potato chips and onion dip
-his favorite drink - Snapple iced tea
-his favorite alcoholic drink - g00d old beer, or a margarita at Chuck’s
-he loved going to the Giants’ games with Jamie and Dan and the Rangers’ games with Jim. To him, it was always more about being able to spend time with his friends than it was the actual game - that was secondary.
-he was the KING of concerts. Never met one he didn’t like!
-he loved to poke fun. Never to be mean, always to get a laugh.
-he was sarcastic and he “got” my sarcasm.
-he loved to help people. He was always the first in line to offer up what he had to give, even if it was the shirt off his back.
-he loved animals. We rescued two dogs from a shelter and they both always loved him best.
-he loved his family and there was rarely a family get together he missed. He loved spending time with everyone and hearing all the stories from “back in the day”. He also loved to retell those same stories.
-he was straight forward. There was no beating around the bush. He told it like it was.
-he was great at putting people at ease.
-he was strong and full of energy, yet he was so gentle. He treated Shane and I like gold. To Chris, we were so delicate and had to be handled so carefully.
-he was every bit the man I wanted to marry and never thought I’d find. He was the same man in public as he was behind closed doors. He was never afraid for the world to see how deeply in love we were.
-he always made me feel like I was the only woman in the room. Scratch that, the world.
-he was the world’s greatest dad. Chris and Shane did more together in the 3 short years they had than a lot of dad’s do with their kids in a lifetime. There was nothing in life he wanted more than to be a dad, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t have done for Shane.
-he loved his family - more than life. And he would’ve done anything for anyone.
- he was always looking at himself in the mirror - sometimes to make funny faces, sometimes to check out his nose hairs, sometimes just because there was one there - he never passed a mirror (or anything that would offer a reflection) that he didn’t at least glance into. . .
- he was the one who always came up with little excursions for us - one day he drove us all the way up RT 7 into Vermont just to see the foliage; he had us leaving at the crack of dawn (dogs in tow in the back seat) and it was dinner time before we finally got home again . . .
- one of my best friends from high school was getting married a few months before our wedding, in OHIO, and we had no money to spare for airline tickets; I really didn’t want to miss the wedding and he offered to drive (overnight) so that we could go; we left Friday night around 5pm, got to Ohio at 6am Saturday morning, went to the wedding that evening and were back in the car at 6am on Sunday - all that time in a car and we NEVER ran out of things to talk about . . .
- when we first started dating his bed was a (smaller than a twin) futon that sat about 3 inches off the ground; his first night in a real bed was our first night in our first apartment . . .
-he LOVED living in CT with Jamie; he showed up on Jamie’s doorstep one night when Jamie was living in a Studio in Stratford - once Jamie realized OC wasn’t leaving they found their apartment on King Street; he would always tell me how easy living with Jamie was - it must’ve been, they did it for 10 years . . .
-every weekend morning he’d go out and get us coffee and pickup the newspapers; he’d come home and pour through every single page until it was read front to back; he preferred the NY papers because they read like a book - the CT papers are LONG and rectangular; not something you could sit on your lap and read easily . . .
-he never told me “no” - NEVER. If there was something I wanted to buy; he told me I deserved it; if there was something I wanted to do; the next day we were doing it . . . he loved dancing with Shane to the theme song from Rescue Me . . .
-he liked to put his sunglasses on at an angle; cross his arms in front of his chest and give me his best “horatio stance” . . .
-he liked to think his name was Jack Bauer . . .
-he was the one who found Zoe on the website for the animal shelter in Long Island; he’s also the one who convinced me we NEEDED the 2nd dog. I was in the middle of baking Christmas cookies and left everything to hop in the car with him to go get her . . .
-when Shane was a newborn and wouldn’t/couldn’t sleep; we’d often end up getting up in the car and going for a drive in the middle of the night. He never complained; and I think he may have even enjoyed it. We always did that together, except for one time after he got sick - that was the beginning of the end for me . . .
-he owned TWO suits - one which we got right before his Grandmother’s funeral and one which he wanted to get after he learned he was going to be Lily’s godfather . . . he owned a Jerry Garcia tie - it was his FAVORITE tie . . .
-he loved hanging out in his boxers and a pair of socks; he loved to be comfortable . .
-he was the best guy I ever knew; and he was SO much more
-he had a pillow named “hug me” that he literally cuddled with every night when he slept (I liked my “space” while sleeping). He had the same hug me the entire 10 years that I knew him, and from the looks of it, a whole lot of years before that, too. I now cuddle with “hug me” at night and some nights I can even still pick up Chris’ scent.
-he liked his candy to be frozen - the longer they were in the freezer the better. M&M’s, peanut butter cups, chocolate bar - didn’t matter, but it had to be frozen
-he ate his ice cream right out of the container and always used the biggest spoon he could find.
susan buesing:
-he loved general tso’s chicken, hot sauce and potato sticks.
-he once thought about being a history teacher.
-he thought the song thunder road by bruce springstien had the greatest lyrics ever written.
-he could always keep a secret.
-he actually liked weddings.
-he hated getting dressed up.
-he used to chew the side of his mouth when he was thinking.
-he loved music.
-he could find a grateful dead song in everyday.
-he named his dog kylee because it reminded him of jamie’s dog kaya.
-he loved to eat fish.
-he loved mountain dew.
-he used to lift up his shirt and rub his belly when he was really full.
-he never showed up to your house empty handed.
-he could get up early with very little sleep aned still always be energetic and happy.
-he hated driving after his last job before king industries.
-he loved his friends like family and his family like friends.
-he was the kind of guy that would encourage his buddies to make up with their wives rather than feed into the fight.
-he loved food and would try anything new.
-he once had a couch sitting on its arm up in the air for years.
-when he would sing he would look up and close his eyes.
-he used to wear his pants down low.
-the only thing that could ever make him mad were sports, he would have full on fights with the television.
-he would read the daily news or new york post over the local paper.
-he was sensitive. he was a closet romantic.
-he would drive 6 hrs round trip for your kids 2 hr birthday party.
-he was no Bob Villa but he always gave it a good try.
-he actually liked to get his picture taken.
-he was loyal. he and I once went for a run to the beach it stratford, which he would never do with me again, but every morning he would wake up and tell me he got his run in before i woke up and he didn’t need to go with me.
-he always picked good food over sweets.
-his friends wives were always his friends not his friends wives.
-he was one of a kind and he was So much more.
Jim Rueb:
-Kristin - That’s OC for sure !!
-He would move his jaw up and down and in and out….that’s why Z and Gerry had to put braces on his teeth.
-He LOVED to HOLD COURT at every sporting event. He would leave his seat for at least half the game to socialize and B.S. with friends and strangers !!
-He liked his Beer and one of his favorites when we were younger was Pabst Blue Ribbon. OC would say there was nothing like an ICE COLD PBR (in a rusty can).
-OC couldn’t wait until Shane would play in a youth Soccer League, he wanted to Coach his son very badly.
-OC would greet everyone with a “Hey kid, what’s your story” !!!
-OC’s favorite band as a teenager was Motley Crue……..Chris was a rebel and the Crue fit his M.O.
-OC loved his music.
-OC called everyone in Canada SERGE and PIERRE.
-OC loved to yell at DEVILS Goalie Marty Brodeur. Brodeur was one of OC’s most HATED athletes.
-OC HATED Eggs…..only guy I ever knew who wouldn’t eat an Egg Sandwich.
-OC HATED to wear socks !! He is loved by so many, because he gave so much. We love you OC !!
-My last visit to OC’s house before he went in the hospital for the last time. was one that I will never forget. In typical guy fashion, I called Chris and Kristin to tell them that I would be stopping by in 15 minutes. I was driving to Rhode Island from NJ for work and I didn’t want them to go thru any trouble on my behalf….so I didn’t give them any notice (nice guy that I am-lol). I brought Shane a Baseball that was made of rubber and not so soft….and he proceeded to CHUCK IT around the house, at Chris, at me and in pure delight yelling, “CATCH A BALL” !!!! I loved the fact that I was able to bring such chaos into the O’Connor home and then leave them there ducking that Baseball for the rest of the evening(lol). I look back on that day fondly, as it was the last time that I had the chance to speak with OC face to face. I gave him a CD to check out that day called Sixx A.M. featuring Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx. Looking back on that moment, Motley Crue was the first ever concert that we saw together in 1985….and a Motley Crue band member CD was the last piece of music that exchanged hands between my best friend and I…..
-He was a guy who called my Mother MOM
-he was a VERY GOOD Soccer Goalie and went on to play Soccer in College, every Saturday Morning in the Fall and Winter we would play Street Hockey and then head to our favorite pizzeria in Brentwood NY…TONY’S PIZZA.
-Chris liked Heineken when we went to concerts
-OC made me drink IRON CITY beer when we went to Pittsburgh on a hockey road trip…he said it would get us in good with the locals.
-Chris had a scar on his knee from when I fouled him in my bedroom while we were playing a little indoor basketball.
-Some of OC’s best buds on Long Island were Chris “Bam Bam” Kemp, Mike Hussey, Ralph Napolitano, Dave Ramirez, Joe Mooney and a slew of other Brentwood guys that were always happy to have him around.
-Chris like to give people NICKNAMES….some of the people that come to mind were named Ay Yay, White Castle, Wilber, Carl Yzerman, Dicky Boy, McCocken, Rat Boy, Pebbles (Bam Bam’s Brother), Fonzi, the Bear and Nester !!
-OC liked Beefaroni in a can, he liked sunglasses
-he liked his Giants hat and his Mets hat
-his chest hair could be seen sticking out of the top of his shirt
-he named his cars Sexy Silver, Big Blue and a few other names
-he once crashed his car into the back of my van
-he let female dancers put makeup on him at my Brother In Law’s Bachelor Party
-he caught the Garter Belt at my wedding AND my brothers wedding
-he loved 1980’s obscure Hair Metal bands like Black N Blue, Keel and Dokken
-his nose would get burned when he was out in the sun for 10 minutes
-he liked Potatoes Au Gratin
-and he was the Best Friend that I ever had, ever will have and ever want to have !!!
-I was just showing Shane the WOOF WOOFS (Wolves-lol). Thanks for letting James and I spend the day with you, Shane and Tracie…we had a blast, and Shane and James seemed to have a great time together. One more SIGN that I received on another trip to visit Kristin, Shane and the O’Connors : I was ordering Chicks and Fries for Shane at McDonalds at the Drive Thru and Iordered him a Chocalate Milk…..WELL, obviously Chris was working his magic at McDonalds and they gave me a CHOCOLATE SHAKE instead…..which is obviously Shane’s favorite based on old Blog Posts !!! Hey Jim, here’s a Shake for my son instead !!! Thanks OC for helping me out with that one !!!
-Hey Danny Richards : I know for a fact that YOU were one of OC’s favorite Brentwood guys !! Some of my favorite memories of you, Chris and I were : 9th grade Soccer when the three of us were THE DEFENSE for North Junior High’s Soccer Team. You and OC were the skill guys and I was just trying to hit guys like it was football. Playing Basketball in your yard after school was a blast. Stopping at the Beer Distributor after work at Kolpen, and buying those Ice Cold Rusty Can Pabst Blue Ribbon !! Basketball at the Gym with Jim Walsh, Ingrassia, OC and the boys was awesome. Driving around in your Datsun B210 Hatchback Three Door (LMAO)….I still remember that car !!! You have a ton of OC Soccer stories that I would for you to share. Take care Dan !!
Tate:
-Where do I begin…My brother did such a nice job reminiscing on majority of the family events. As Jay said, I too am devastated that I did not have more time to spend with Chris. Ten years was way too short.
-My first memory of Chris was going to his apartment on King street to take care of the dog while they were away. I remember seeing all the mountain dew cans around the house, the blankets thrown about, clothes placed here and there and remember saying to myself “my sister stays here?…She might marry him?” Of course she stayed there and of course she married him, why wouldnt she. Chris was her everything, he was one in a million.
-Ill never forget all the “contraption” sandwiches he offered me: beets on rye bread, pickles on flat bread, and of course anchovies on wheat.
-He was always so young at heart. He loved to dance around with Shane even when Shane was a baby Chris would swing him around in his arms. Chris loved to dance (especially to the wiggles).
-I remember all the weddings he attended with us. He was always on the dance floor and he danced like no one else was out there.
-Then of course there were our conversations about “cheesie” (i’ll leave that alone).
-I will always remember Chris standing with Timmy (and I can’t think of his other cousins name…theres just too many) holding a beer in their hand standing in front of the patio singing their all time favorite Irish song…a TRUE Irish man.
-Of course our family trip to Wildwood. Him and Jay sneaking out for those margaritas and their nightly DQ blizzards…he cheated at mini golf one night (if you asked him hed say he won…but he didn’t).
-Although I never got to experience any sports games or concerts with him, I got to experience his love for them at the house. I can still smell the potato skins cooking, hear the game in the background, see Chris with his glass of mountain dew in his hand standing next to the table eating his all time fav chips and dip I hear him yelling and talking over the game. I’d do anything to have one more of those games.
-As everyone has said I can go on and on. Chris was one in a million and I was blessed the day he entered my sisters life. He loved my sister so much and treated her like a princess, and trust me, he was her prince charming. I am fortunate to have had him in my life and to call him my brother.
Lin:
-It’s been noted here that Chris loved to read, but no one has gone on and on about how MUCH he loved to read. There were always big thick boring books with tiny print around the house — books about Presidents (John Quincy Adams, Abraham Lincoln), the Civil War, politics, sport figures, even some classic literature. He read everything. When Shane was younger he was always pulling Chris’s bookmarks out of those books. I don’t know how Chris ever managed to find his place again — all those pages with no pictures all looked the same to me! Chris and I once had a conversation, well before he got sick, and he told me he hoped “heaven was a library”. Can I tell you how many times I have prayed for that wish to be true for him since July 16?
Jay Grimes:
-I know I can speak for my whole family when I say I feel extremely deprived to have only known Chris for less than 10 years.
-My memory will never be as sharp as his was, but even still I can recite as many amazing memories that I shared with him as I have with many of my closest friends whom I’ve known for equal if not greater amounts of time.
-I consider myself extremely lucky to be a part of those Giants games over the past 3-4 years. In my whole life I’ve probably been to 8 or 9 Giants games, 7 or 8 of those had been with Chris. I wouldn’t trade those mornings of meeting at the house by 6am to get to the gate before the parking attendants for anything in the world.
-Then there were all the Giants games that we didn’t go to, but still got together at the house for. Those days always included cold beer, chips with dip, buffalo wings, potato skins, and plenty of good sports talk.
-We had some great times at a few Yankees and Mets games, and there should have been several more to come.
-Nothing will ever beat our baseball-palooza event. What a day that was.
-As far as concerts go - well unfortunately I only had the opportunity for one. It was that DreamTheater concert at Radio City that Jim has already mentioned as being a memorable one.
-Chris and I could always talk music.
-I got to experience a number of weddings with Chris, usually tagging along with he and my sister as the third wheel but they never did care. Chris and Meg’s, Mike and Nikki’s, Katie and Jim’s most have been in there as well. All amazing times.
-I never had the chance to get to a Rangers game with him, but we did have those SoundTigers games.
-I will never forget the family vacation to Wildwood where we managed (on a number of times) to sneak away for margaritas or DQ blizzards. I haven’t been able to have a blizzard since he’s passed. Crazy huh?
-Thanksgiving day was spent outside deep-frying the turkey, regardless of how rough the weather might have been.
-Aside from all these good times, there were also those times where the tough projects had to get done. Anyone who knew Chris would politely agree that he never had much patience when it came to those projects. Even still, he was always the first to offer his help. These will always be great memories for me - putting up the fence in the front yard, building Shane’s jungle jim, moving me from Naugatuck to Milford, helping with the renovations at my house. I’m sure there are several more such events.
-Like everyone else here, I can go on for hours. All of this within less than 10 years time. I have been very fortunate to have known Chris and to have called him my brother.
James Buesing:
-OC and I once drove from Colorado to New Jersey non-stop on No-Doz and large coffee’s to see a Grateful Dead cover band. We got to the bar and of course the band had taken the night off…in hindsight, maybe we should have called.
-During that Colorado trip, Oc, Sean Muldowney and I hiked up the side of some mountain, I think it was Bushkill Falls, after the hike we read the sign at the bottom that warned us only hikers with professional gear etc. should attempt to maneuver the falls. I remember one line read, “hikers are seldom given a second chance.” In hindsight, probably should have read that first…
-the next day we hiked a couple of miles to an open field where we got a glimpse of how people used to live in the area before there were cars. It was one of the coolest feelings to be there, truly a sight to see, a beautiful day, a beautiful view. We hiked to a small cabin where we found one of those books you could sign your name in, tell people where you were from and describe your day etc…we hung there until the snow flurries rolled in. 3 minutes later those flurries turned into a total white out, we couldnt see 2 feet in front of our own faces, couldnt see the trees unless you were right up on them, couldnt see down to our feet to see our tracks in the snow we had left on the way in, we were dressed for an early afternoon hike, moderate temps..sweats and sweatshirts. Truly a case of when good vacations go bad. Would have made great clip on Worlds most Shocking Videos or something. In hindsight…probably should have checked the weather.
-The next day the three of us headed out in mighty maroon for a night or 2 in Vegas. Along the way we picked up one of Sean’s buddy’s and drove him to either Aspen or Vail, vague memory of the town, what I do remember was it was the worst snow storm ever! Dumping snow, OC had a grip on the wheel so tight I thought he might bend the wheel in half. Picture that grip, his chin over the wheel, nose to the windshield, he’s so stressed he’s barely uttering a word…total focus, I remember coming down this hill, a hill steeper than any hill I’d ever driven down, its covered in snow and its slippery, I remember being thrilled I wasnt driving yet wishing I was.
-As much as I love the guy, OC was no Jimmy Johnson…one day in New Haven on a snowy day we were coming down Ella T Grasso Blvd…we were heading down a slight hill toward a light and it started to turn red. He puts on the brakes and we 360 our way clear through the intersection avoiding any contact from oncoming traffic and somehow avoided slamming into the cars parked on the roadside too.
-Then there was the time he drove us into and over the black asphalt curb/island, we bounced so high off the seats we smashed our heads on the roof… then there was the time I sat and watched him trying to get out of our driveway, he’d pull forward and hit the bumper of the car owned by the guy who played noseguard for Southern Connecticuts football team, then back into the fence, forward into the noseguards car, back into the fence…this cycle continued until i went down the stairs and backed him out to the center of the driveway, from there he was able, barely, but able to continue on his way. In hindsight, probably shouldnt have let him drive away that day, I mean you gotta figure if he cant K-turn his way our of our driveway maybe I should have thought twice…
-The day before we were leaving Colorado we had a conversation about needing to get wiper fluid for the ride since he had used it all during the ride through the storm a day before. In the interim he said he would put a little water in it. Flash forward we are on our way and we are in need of that fluid while driving through melting snow heading through Ohio. Problem is he pulls the lever and no fluid. We pull into the station and he buys and pours 2 gallons of fluid into the resevoir. By the time he gets the 2nd bottle poured in, the first one is leaking from under the car and running toward our feet. Turns out he put too much water in the resevoir tank, it froze, cracked and all the fluid we just poured in spilled on the pavement from under the hood. Needless to say he was trilled with the fact the tank had broken, the fluid spilled to the ground, money completely wasted, and a long time in the car as it was. In a moment of desperation he grabs the squeegie and we head for the hills. We spend the rest of the time with one guy driving, the other guy leaning out the side of the car pulling a squeegie across the windshield so we could have a clear field of vision even if only for a brief moment. Hard to imagine a 5 day stretch like that.
-There were so many more just like it. Eventually I will tell Kristin and Shane them all.
-We lived together for the most part for a little bit more than a decade, we never had an argument…never. He was the easiest person in the world to get along with.
-He was the best friend.
-He loved the Giant games, mostly the tailgating, the time spent with the 20-30 friends who we gathered with. He loved getting the family together.
-His bachelor party in Vegas was a string of days every one of us who attended re-run in our minds often. Family, friends and the sports book at the Mirage…he was in his glory. Jim Reub hits a slot for 400 before he even checks in, if that wasnt lucky enough he hits a trifecta of horses and pulls in over 1500, which he then proceeds to hand out hundred by hundred to the group, we were taking the casino by storm we thought. That first night lasted 20 hrs I think…
-We once got escorted by security for our safety out of the hockey Arena in Philadelphia, Jim, OC and I after Jagr beat the flyers 1 minute and 5 seconds into overtime. Maybe it was OC yelling at Flyers fans that Lindross had Messiers poster on his wall, then again maybe it was Jim launching that obnoxious guy 6 rows down the steps at games end. Either of those 2 could have been it.
-He loved the Ranger games and the trips to Canada with the Reub brothers.
-He loved his music,
-he loved his life,
-he loved his wife,
-he adored his son Shane.
-He loved hot sauce, he used to put it on EVERYTHING, bought it at costco by the gallon. Then one day he quit it cold turkey.
-I remember the first time I saw him watch the TV with his head turned to the side.
-I remember the day he walked into my apartment on fitch street looking for a room to rent.
-I remember all the good times we shared. I live them in my head every day, it helps me deal, it helps me heal. I miss him more than I could have imagined.
-He was my best friend, he was so much more…
-I was @ Giants Stadium Sunday night. OC would have been there too. He would have pulled up, gotten out of his car, made the rounds giving out hugs, smiles and handshakes, opened his cooler and exclaimed… ” I’m gonna have a beer, I won’t offend anyone, will I ?” He’d repeat that statement with each beer that followed. About 5 or 6 in he’d begin to ask anyone that stood next to him or approached him, ” You OK?…I’m alright, you alright? “. I still wait for him to pull up. It is the strangest feeling I have to say. I am not in denial, I realize he’s not gonna show but for some reason it still feels as if he’s just running late, he’ll show, its just a matter of time. Problem is obvious however…he never shows! The dynamic has changed a bit. The mood has changed a bit, he brought an energy to the event that just can’t be replaced and is dearly missed. If I can draw any good from his absence it is that at some point we sit around and share stories of days gone by…like this one…mid to late 1990’s A week or so prior to this day I will describe, I had jumped in my canoe with a buddy of mine from NJ, dropped it into the Rancocas river and paddled away up an offshoot of the river that I had never navigated before but decided lets go and see what was up river. We found a railroad track bridge about 30 minutes up stream and saw people jumping from it into the river. Of course we followed suit and began jumping ourselves…fast forward…a week later OC comes to NJ for a weekend visit. It was a really hot day, we had no pool so I decide to take Sue and OC to this bridge for a jump in the river. We drive over, park along the tracks and start walking down the track toward the bridge…like a scene out of Stand by Me. We get to the bridge and OC’s nervous big time. You could just tell he’d rather be getting a colonoscopy with a Maglight flashlight vs jumpiing from that bridge. I had no idea he wasnt very fond of heights, @ least not that high. This wasnt some simple jump, it was 60 feet easy into a dark muddy river. He’s nervous leaning over the edge as is, he’s not even contemplating jumping at this point. In an effort to show him it can be done, I climb up, take a big breath and throw myself off swinging my arms as I fall to maintain my balance. I plunge in and come up for air, simple like so…off the bridge goes Sue…into the water pops up with a huge bleeding scrape running down her leg from hitting something in the murky water. Now he’s definately stressing. Sue and I climb back up the hill, OC awaits, no plans of jumping just yet, he’s nervous but working on getting up the guts to do this. We climb up to the rail, its about 3 ft high, made of steel and barely wide enough for your feet to stand on without your toes hanging over the edge. In order to jump you have to leap out a good 3-4 feet to avoid hitting a metal pole that ran the length of the bridge. He’s now standing on the edge, he’s shaky but I think he’s gonna do it, I mean he just watched Sue and I do it and wasn’t walking away having been the only one who didn’t jump. he keeps saying OK i can do this but doesn’t jump. I turn to him and say, do you want me to jump in again first? He says no I can do it just give me a second. Again, it’s high, he doesn’t really want to be up there and the edge is narrow and wet now since Sue and I had already jumped and are now standing next to him on this ledge. I have to admit though, looking down to the river the thought goes through your head, is this really safe? OK, now he’s ready, you can feel it, he’s gonna do it this time…he gets himself steadied, starts his lean forward, he’s committed now…and pushes off with his feet…his feet slip on the wet metal edge and now he’s freefalling swinging his arms in desperation to straighten himself up…he’s unable to do so and in the process has to set some sort of world record for the highest belly flop ever!! It seems like forever until he pops his head up, in fact I’m saying to myself this is not good…he looks up to me on the bridge unable to utter a word, he just knocked all the wind out of himself…i yell down to him…do you need my help? A nod was all he could muster and off the bridge I go, into the water helping him to the shore. We get out of the water and he turns to me and says, “that felt good.”, obvious sarcasm. His bridge jumping career ended that day in Rancocas NJ I believe. In fact if it werent for that thick coat of Austin Powers chest hair, things could have been much worse! It sure wasn’t funny @ that moment but looking back at it and reliving that day it was one of those things that, once you knew he was ok it was absolutely hysterical. The guys @ the tailgate appreciated that story but not nearly as much as I enjoyed reliving it. I would have hoped it would have been easier by now to get over his passing but it hasn’t. Reliving these moments seems very bittersweet. I am happy to have so many memories but feel shortchanged. We were just hitting our stride. Rest in peace my brother. More thoughts to follow…xo
And one from his college friend, Carl:
In the fall of 1988 I was a freshman at Southern Connecticut State College. And miserable.
I didn’t want to be in college and I certainly didn’t want to be in a dorm. As is usually the case in dorm life, the floor I lived on was an eclectic group of folks; most were older than me and had already met the year before.
For the first few weeks, I barely spoke to anybody on the floor. And few people spoke with me, which was fine because I liked to watch the “show” of people playing-out their various roles. One person in particular who stood-out right away was the guy who would sit in his room every night, perched in a big Archie Bunker-style chair, wearing shorts and watching baseball at peak volume.
He usually had a carton of Hershey’s chocolate milk, which would inevitably be waving around as a kind of prop among the myriad shouts and gestures he directed at the tv set. And there was an odd way, that way he held his head- it seemed like his face was turned toward the doorway (presumably looking at the bricks of the hallway) but he was clearly watching the tv with great interest.
While he generally kept to himself and did his own thing, he was by no means a recluse. I would often seem him in the lounge area with one of the rugby players “passing” a soccer ball by bouncing it off his head, never using his hands. Someone told me he had been a goalie for the soccer team- and a gifted one at that.
I also noticed he would occasionally carry around a small baseball bat, which he referred to as “The Enforcer”. The Enforcer would generally come into use any time he need to articulate a particular point that he felt his unique, Long Island-toned prose was not adequately conveying. For example, I had seen The Enforcer factor prominently in several requests of people to lower their voices so a particular sports broadcast could be heard or so he could sleep. The request was always compelling and nobody ever seemed to take offense at it.
The day I first officially met him was actually at night. He was perched in his chair, tv set (loudly) tuned to a baseball game, head turned in that strange position. On this particular night, the typical Hershey’s carton was replaced by a short, squat, brown beer bottle. And, in addition to the tv, he had an obscure Frank Zappa song playing (almost as loud as the TV). I owned the same Zappa album and decided I would go introduce myself.
I walked over to his doorway (realizing he was actually looking at the TV despite his face being turned toward me) and handed him a cassette of the Frank Zappa epic “Billy the Mountain”. He looked at it, looked at me, and said “Here, have a hand grenade” tossing me a beer. “They didn’t have any mortars tonight (pronounced “mohtahas”) so I got a case of grenades instead”.
Not knowing what the hell he was talking about, I was also struck by his open, friendly demeanor- quite a contrast to the image of the Enforcer-carrying, lone-wolf soccer-wizard. In what must have clearly been his response to the puzzled look on my face, he proceed to explain “these are Schmidts- they come in two sizes: hand grenades (the small bottles) and mortars (the bar bottles)”.
We spent the rest of the night talking. By early morning, I had him listening to the Grateful Dead and he was telling me legends about growing up in Brentwood. He had a unique talent for telling stories- a type of hyperactive, on-the-verge-of-stutter sort of cadence with an endearing intensity that was highlighted by his Long Island accent.
Over the next four years, he would be at the epicenter of every memorable event I can recall from that era. We went to class together, we went to the library together, we went to concerts together, we committed buffoonery together, we lived together, we worked together and we explored the outer limits of reality together. He is one of the most authentic, enjoyable and truly unique people I ever met.
Fast forward to an afternoon in May of this year. I’m in my office at work and my Mother calls to tell me she got a call from “somebody named Sean Muldowney”. The sound of worlds colliding quickly vanished when I heard the rest of the sentence… “and he left you his phone number…he told me that OC is sick”. I remember her asking, “I hope he isn’t talking about your old roommate from college.” (OC was a celebrity with my parents- actually, he was a celebrity with just about everybody who met him). In a horribly twisted way, I was suddenly reunited with Sean and OC- two friends I had unspeakable amount of fun with. But this time there wasn’t anything funny.
I, like so many of you, have multitudes of OC stories. All of them are good times; in fact, many are legendary for me at this point. After Sean’s call, I searched the internet and found Kristin’s blog. I got to hear about my friend as a Husband, a Father and a friend to so many. And I cried like a baby.
The last time I saw him was at my daughter’s baptism in 1999. Time may have gotten between us, but he never was and never is more than a thought away. And I smile every single time.
Such a long, long time to be gone. And a short time to be there.
-Jim Rueb & Dan Richards- its great to hear you guys tell these stories… I can remember OC reminiscing about working in that place. Although I never met either of you, as soon as you said “Gefilte Fish” I knew exactly who you both were. That wharehouse you all worked in was the source of several OC Classics- ones he put in “syndication” (they came up regularly- usually when he was in Finest Form) The “Gefilte Fish Story” stands out because every time OC told it, he always made sure to describe Gefilte Fish to me in graphic detail, just to make I fully appreciated this particular nuance (and the description was usually prefaced by “you Italians probably dont know about this stuff…”). The Brentwood stories always held a special place in his lexicon and I could tell he missed you guys while he was away at college. Thanks for sharing these stories.. its great to hear them again.
From Dan Richards:
Kristin,
Very happy to see Uncle Jim & Shane together. Of all my old school mates back in Brentwood, I miss seeing Chris & Jim most.
I thought I would share some memories that raced through my head as I read the comments of others.
Although I had not been in touch with Chris in quite a while (he was at my wedding in 1996), he was a constant figure in my life throughout my childhood. We played travel soccer together in Brentwood for countless years and I will always remember some of the fonder moments:
-Once Chris baited me into a bet during an indoor soccer tournament that I could not score 3+ goals in a game – he knew just where to get me by offering up his brownie as the booty (It worked)
-We did one of our first serious roller-coaster together in the summer of 1982 – the Loch Ness Monster at Busch Gardens, Williamsburg (I unfairly hazed him into it!)
-Playing 2 on 2 tackle football at Twin Pines elementary (Chris & I vs. Joe Anatra & Frank Genise); leading to us branding Chris Sticky Fingers – he really never dropped a ball
-Working at Kolpen Dist. with Chris, Jim/Jeff Rueb and others (Work being defined as pallet jack races, endless mngmnt. heckling, and torturing our fellow workers in addition to breaking cases of Gefilte fish - YUCK).
-Obtaining second degree burns on my legs at Shea b/c who applies sunscreen? - although I seem to remember Chris & Jim being fine…hmmm
-Sleeping out in Chris’ yard and taking a 2AM stroll to 7-eleven for munchies (it wasn’t my idea Zita/Gerry)
-Playing late night basketball at the Jim Walsh elementary
-Pilfering some of my old-mans Schmidt’s.
Vaya con Dios Chris
Your friend forever, Dan Richards